Paper Hearts and Profiles
by Trusque
Summary: Reid centric. Revolves around his romance with a fellow fictional agent, the strengthening of their bond through trauma and trust and the team gathering around them with all the loyalty of family. family as in solidarity not cutesy and obviously romance.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This story was originally by queenofthelooneybin, however she gave up on it in favor of an alternate redux version. She graciously allowed me pick up where she left off (chapter 14) because I just couldn't let this story go. This is her work with only minor alteration by myself. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

There were only six little soldiers left in the pack. Cutler stared at the crumpled cigarette packet at the bottom of her purse. Which had a Guns and Roses pin on it. She took it off and threw it in the trash bin. Back in Phoenix, they didn't care that she smoked, cursed at suspects and listened to Nirvana and Guns and Roses while they drove from scene to scene. Yet again, Quantico was an entirely different animal. It had been what…five years since she had been here. Yeah, five. Her training days, then she had demanded to be sent right back home. Then, she had decided to join the BAU. It made her feel smarter already. She thought that learning the whys of depravity would help her sleep. She had been for a new record this time. 36 hours without sleep. Makeup covered the dark circles under her eyes and she wanted to be clutching a cup of coffee almost as big as her leg. Cutler knew she looked like she was sixteen, seventeen on a good day. In reality she was twenty-seven. Today she hoped it was a bad day. In the past, she had been mistaken for a Girl Scout, intern and on one really weird day, a hooker. Yet again, she had been undercover. Still, being mistaken for a desert whore made any day a bad/weird day.

"Hey," her bedfellow said softly. "You're up early."

"I know," Cutler whispered and looked down at him. She swept a strand of his hair behind his ear. He was so sweet; it made her want to cry. After over a year of dancing around each other, they had fallen into his bed. No sex, but just lying wrapped up in each other, muttering sweet, drunken nothings. "I have to go home."

"Cutler, you have some clothes here," Reid said.

"I need to shower," Cutler found another reason.

"I have a shower."

"I want to go."

"Why?"

"Because. This never happened."

"But it did." Reid stared at his quasi-lover, who wore only a skirt and her white and purple bra, since her shirt was under his pillow. Cutler had joined their team a year and a half ago, just after the case in New York City, where Hotch had nearly been blown up. Cutler was pretty much 'Reid with boobs and rocker girl flair' as Garcia had put it. Her iPod was pretty much her child and Reid had listened to it with her a couple dozen times, and grew to enjoy those moments on the plane where it was just them awake and they were listening to Nirvana or Janis Joplin. She would fall asleep on his shoulder and he would rest his head on hers as he drifted off.

Garcia wanted this to happen, bad. She thought they were cuter than a basket of puppies. So, everyone but JJ, Rossi and Hotch had gone for drinks the night before and after a lot of shots, Cutler had been no shape to go home.

So, Reid had taken her to his.

At the bar, they had played a drinking game that revolved around Cutler. The only people who knew her first name were Hotch, JJ and Strauss. For some reason, Cutler wouldn't admit it. So, they guessed and did shots. Not the most complex game, but it was fun. Reid had chosen to not play and read a book instead. Not that he had planned to drag a drunk, singing Cutler into his car and apartment. His neighbor had yelled at him as while Reid searched for his key, Cutler sang 'I Wanna Be Sedated'. Except she only knew the chorus and was focused on the 'bam' bits.

"Cutler," he reached for her and she grabbed her shirt.

"Reid. We can't. I'm sorry." She bent down to kiss him on the forehead. Another one of her quirks was that she never undid her low ponytail, her almost white hair tied behind her ears. "You're amazing Spence." Her dark gray eyes glittered for a moment. "But, the job takes priority."

"So? We can still do our jobs." Reid pointed out.

"Whatever this is, it can be used to hurt us," Cutler retorted.

"I won't let anyone hurt you."

"You were shot less than a year ago Reid! I was there!"

"That's not the point!"

"Yes it is! If I lose you, then what I do have left?"

Cutler jerked on her shoes and almost fell over the sheets. Reid watched her leave, his heart heavy. Then he remembered the worst part.

He had to see her again in two hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She needed a smoke. The stress of the morning was crawling under her skin. God, she wished that they had slept together. Then there would be a definate worry. I had sex with my partner. Boom, something to sweat over. But, kissing and cuddling didn't compare. In short, she was screwed. It was all a blur. Had she told him she loved him? In the haze of her memory, she saw herself kissing his chest, muttering "Kocham cię." That was Polish for 'I love you." So, had she said it for real or was that part of a very real dream? The knowledge had been a burden to her for months, ever since that awful day at Barton's house.

"Reid, wait up!" she yelled and began to chase Reid, who was chasing Barton. Today, she had chosen to wear girly shoes. For the rest of her life, she would curse that choice. The heel snapped and she fell. In the five seconds she took to take off the errant shoe, she heard the crack of gunfire. "No!" With her shoes off, she ran outside. Reid lay on the ground, bleeding. With no hesitation, she pulled out her own gun and fired, hitting Myers in the gut. No harm done. "Help that guy," she ordered Barton and she stumbled over to Reid. She took off her jacket and pressed it to the wound.

"Cutler," he whispered her name sweetly and she choked back a sob.

"You're gonna be okay man," she said and pressed a bit harder. "Just...breathe sweetie, okay?"

"Sweetie?" Reid smiled through the pain.

"Shut up man." Cutler opened her phone and called 911. "Two shot, one a federal agent." She gave Barton's address. "Hurry! If anything happens to my partner, I will kick you in the balls so hard your great-grandchildren will feel it."

When the others arrived, Cutler handed Morgan her gun and made for the ambulance. He grabbed her.

"I have to go with him," Cutler said. "He's my partner."

"Hotch may be in trouble," Morgan said.

"Spence is in trouble!" Her eyes swam with tears.

"Fine, go." Morgan let her go and she bolted into the ambulance. The EMTs made room for the scary lady.

"You okay Spence?" she asked and took his hand.

"I'm in pain but otherwise I feel okay," Reid answered.

"Bullshit." Cutler rubbed his hand and he closed his eyes for a second. Her heart rate shot up and she gasped. That was when she knew. There was a reason her heart was pounding and her eyes swimming.

She was in love with her boy genius friend.

As Cutler took a long, moody drag on her cigarette, a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Hey." It was Lance Sweets, a profiler that worked out of DC. They had taken a few seminars together. Like her and Reid, he was young and brilliant. What separated him from them was that he was always cheery. At times, Cutler found it a bit creepy. Now, it was what she needed. "Hey," Cutler answered.

"I thought you quit smoking," Sweets said.

"I had a weird morning."

"How bad could it have been?"

"Does waking up in my partner's bed excuse me?"

"Whoa," Sweets took a moment to stare at her. "Yeah, it does." Cutler proceeded to tell him everything, from the bar, to the singing to the cuddling to the morning after. "So, you ran away?"

"Yeah. I know that makes me stupid, but getting involved would be a bad idea."

"How so?"

"Because...it just is." Cutler glared at the younger man and blew smoke from her nose. "I may be crazy about him, but I know when something is a bad idea."

"Maybe you're just scared, because of your-," Sweets was cut off by a kick to the shins. Cutler ground out her cigarette. "Just remember: 'Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love'- Leo Buscaglia."

"You know Sweets, if that Booth guy shoots you, I'm buying him a beer," Cutler called as she made her way into the BAU building.

Inside, she was met by Emily, who offered her a bottle of body spray to cover the smell of cigarette smoke. Cutler sprayed and her eyes wandered the bullpen. She saw Reid and felt like crawling under her desk. That was exactly why them being together was a bad idea. Not just anyone saw her body. That had been drilled into her by her grandmother. But, he hadn't seen all of her. Just enough. When Cutler went to grab a coffee, she saw her reflection in the microwave door. Some of her makeup had smeared away and some of the gray bags under her eyes were visible. Of course, she thought and went to the bathroom to touch up. That was the problem. Like her eyes, with Reid there were too many shades of gray.

"Hey, we got a case," Emily said. Something made her ask what was wrong. "You okay?"

"Um, yeah," Cutler muttered.

"What happened last night?"

"Nothing." Cutler's eyes hardened. "I slept on his couch. I woke up with a minor hangover. Apparently, I sang a lot. That's it."

They all gathered in the conference room. Cutler sat between Emily and Morgan, which was not her usual seat. Guess who that was next to?

"Colony, Ohio. It's a suburb along the Ohio river. In the past three weeks, three students from the same high school have been found murdered.

"Jeremy Hart, 17, was found hanging from his bedroom light two weeks ago. There were defensive wounds on his arms and face and at his feet was an battered copy of To Kill A Mockingbird.

"Leslie Rose, 15. She was found in a storm drain last week, strangled and raped. At her feet was an issue of Seventeen from 1990.

"And finally, Xavier Moore, 15. He was found behind the football field two days ago, also strangled and beaten quite badly. At his feet was a metal lunchbox. People are still working on opening it."

"What makes you think that they're all connected?" Rossi asked.

"Because of the mementos left by the bodies. They are all from the early nineties. The local PD theorizes that it may have something to do with the old high school being torn down next week," JJ said.

Less than an hour later, they were off to Ohio.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

On the jet, Reid found himself looking at Cutler more often than he should have. Usually, he was at her side, looking over the files and coming with theories. They were a team. Garcia had even given them a nickname: Spulter. Together they were nearly superhuman. His academic calm was balanced by her inner fire. Outside of work, they were friends. They went shopping for books at the second hand stores, saw movies, had dinner and even slept on each other's couches a few times. If Reid knew what a BFF was, he would describe their relationship that way. Except very few people were in love with their BFF. Reid had realized it after that one case in Albuquerque, with the imprisoned women being forced to have children.

They stood in the hallway of the hospital, waiting for Carol to be checked out so she could go to whatever home awaited for her. Reid had just come back from the men's room and saw Cutler standing in the hall, holding the baby. He was cleaned up, wrapped in a sky blue blanket. There was a mask of softness to her face that Reid had only seen a few times.

"He's perfect," Cutler cooed to Reid, holding the infant close.

"If you consider baldness and wrinkles perfection," Reid said.

"I happen to think so," she retorted. That was when the light from above them hit her in just the right way. It made her look angelic. Reid shuffled closer and was able to catch what she was singing to the baby.

Dancing bears

Painted wings

Things I almost remember,

And a song someone sings

once upon a December

"What's that from?" Reid asked.

"It's from a movie I saw when I was a teenager," Cutler said. "It helped my little sister go to sleep." She kissed the baby on his forehead and smiled. "I can't wait to have one of my own."

"You'll be a great mother," Reid murmured.

"You think so?"

"Yes."

That night, as they flew back home, Reid found himself unable to sleep. Almost everyone else had found a way, except for Cutler. She was curled into the seat next to him, reading a book. Morgan, JJ, Emily and Hotchner were asleep, and Reid was pretty sure that Rossi was as well.

"You feeling okay?" Cutler asked, closing her books. There were bags under her eyes and she looked tired.

"I can't sleep," Reid admitted. "Would you-?"

"Sure." Cutler set her book on the seat next to her and hummed to gather herself.

Someone holds me safe and warm,

horses prance through a silver storm,

Figures dancing gracefully,

across my memory,

Far away, long ago

things I yern to remember

and a song someone sings

Once upon a December

Reid felt his eyes grow heavy as her voice trailed off. When he looked over at her, he saw that she was asleep. Most of her body had fallen over the armrest and he knew from personal experience that it would hurt. So he lifted up the armrest and pulled her over, into his arms. "Good night," he whispered and that was when it came to him, like a burst to his brain.

He was in love.

In the present, Reid felt his stomach twist up as he stared at her and Emily talking. He came to another revelation.

He missed her.

xxx

They landed in Columbus and had to drive forty-five minutes to reach their destination. Rather than ride together as they usually did, Reid rode with Morgan while Cutler rode with Emily and JJ . No one said anything until they got into their cars. Rossi and Hotchner did not want to hear anything about something like this. Although they could see the chemistry between Cutler and Reid, they chose not to talk about it with anyone. It was none of their business. But, however, everyone else did not see it that way. As soon as they got into their cars, Morgan turned to Reid, and in the car in front of them, Emily and JJ did the same thing to Cutler.

He Said/She Said

She Said:

"What the hall happened last night?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You two haven't said a word to each other all morning."

"Please clarify."

"Emily, she wants us to spell it out."

"Cutler, did you and Reid sleep together last night?"

"No! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Jesus Christ, watch the road!"

"I just saw my life flash before my eyes."

"Dude, nothing happened."

"Then why are you two acting like strangers?"

"Cause…."

"Did you declare your love for him?"

"Oh my God, was that a deer?"

He Said:

"Did you get some last night?"

"Get some what?"

"You and Cutler…"

"We went to my apartment."

"My man!"

"She passed out on my couch."

"Oh. You sure?"

"Wouldn't I remember having sex with my partner."

"You could be lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"You have a point. But, aren't you in love with her?"

"Don't make me grab the wheel."

"You wouldn't."

"Maybe I would."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sounds coming from downstairs had woken her up. The seventeen year old got out of bed and made her way out of her room, struggling to keep quiet. The house was old, everything creaked. In the interest of sneaking out, she had oiled the hinges on her door. The door opened as quietly as it should have. She had to get to Angel. Nothing else, no one else mattered. They could all die, but as long as she saved Angel, she would be able to sleep.

"Are you awake?" she hissed into the darkness.

"Yes," a small voice answered. Angela Cutler, known as Angel to all she knew, bounded out of bed into the arms of her sister. The future Agent Cutler kissed the top of her sister's head and carried her to the closet. Just as she had the door open, someone came it.

A man.

He smelled like sweat and blood.

He was tall, big. Like Jason Voorhees.

"Give her to me."

"No." The older Cutler girl stuck out her chin in defiance.

"Yes." He grabbed Angel from her and shoved her into the wall. Blood burst and she tried to walk, but there were two of everything and it was just easier to sleep.

So she did.

"No, no. Angel, ANGEL!" Cutler was screaming in her sleep, howling really. Emily had woken up in her own room to hear her friend screaming like someone had stabbed her in the gut. She ran over and shook Cutler awake, even though she risked getting her finger bitten off.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked.

"Just...nightmares," Cutler muttered and pushed a clump of sweaty hair from her eyes. "What time is it?"

"3:20 in the morning."

"Sorry about me waking you up Em."

"It's no problem. Are you sure you're okay."

"Never been better."

When she was sure Emily was safely in her room, Cutler got out of bed and went for her leather jacket. She wore a white tank top and black yoga pants. The flip-flops that the hotel had provided would do their job. The night sky was clear and she lit a cigarette. She only had four left. If they had time in the morning, she would have to go and buy more.

"Those things will kill you," a voice behind her said. Cutler turned around. It was Morgan. "What are you out so late kid?"

"Don't call me kid," she said. "And I could ask you the same question."

"Got up to use the bathroom. Saw you standing there. I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Well, set your fears aside. I am fine and dandy." She blew a trio of smoke rings.

"What happened last night?"

A shadow fell over Cutler's face. She took a few angry drags before answering with a curt "Nothing. And if something did happen, what business of it is yours?"

"Reid is my best friend. And I gotta watch out for him." The look on Morgan's face told her he was serious. An inner war began to rage inside Cutler. She could tell Morgan. What did she have to lose by telling him? He knew the value of discretion. And he also knew Reid. Maybe he could help.

"I may have told him that I loved him," Cutler mumbled. "Hey, in my defense, I was drunk. Then I may have made a move and I know I passed out."

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Morgan asked. Cutler shrugged. "You and I both know he cares about you. He would do anything for you."

"I know. I would do anything for him." She discarded her cigarette into a nearby ashtray and lit up a new one. That had been the truth. Whatever it was, she would do it. Then again, she would do the same for most of the people she worked with. Well, at least for a few people. But, she wouldn't die for Rossi or risk getting shot for Strauss. But if it was Reid, there would be no question.

"Yeah, I know you would," Morgan said. "Except tell him the truth."

Xxx

In the morning, they all split up. Emily and Reid went to the house of the latest victim while Rossi and Morgan went to the dump site and Hotchner went to speak to the principal of the town's only high school. Cutler and JJ stayed at the police station, setting up and dealing with the locals.

Xavier Moore had been the only child of a widow. His aunt was there, taking care of everything as his mother was a zombie. Neither woman could say much. Xavier had been a private kid. But they did give permission for Reid and Emily and Reid to search his room.

There were posters of woman in bikinis, as well as posters for movies, bands and just some random designs. While Emily searched the desk, Reid looked at the walls and went through his closet.

"What happened last night?" Emily asked what seemed to be the question of the week. Reid gave her the stock answer. "C'mon Reid, it doesn't take a profiler to figure out what happened last night. You've been nuts about her forever."

That was true. They had met Cutler over a year before she had joined their team. They had been working a case down in Arizona. Reid still had been recovering from being kidnapped.

They were on the hunt for an UNSUB that went after women in their late twenties and early thirties, soccer mom types. Reid was supposed to be working on graphing a comfort zone, but all he could think about were the vials in his bag.

"Hey," a woman seemed to have come out of nowhere. She wore a red tube top and a short black skirt. Her lips were a frighteningly garish red and she wore green eyeshadow.

"Um, miss, I can't really help you," Reid stammered. He wasn't good with most women, especially hookers. But they seemed to be drawn to him.

"You forgot the possibles," the hooker said. "That might help narrow it down." The look on his face made her laugh. "I'm not actually a hooker. Agent Cutler. I'm undercover." She put on her jacket. "You need any help?"

They ended up spending the rest of the afternoon charting the comfort zone. When the team got back, they were surprised to see Reid and a hooker eating crappy sandwiches. He quickly introduced everyone and then Cutler announced it was time to go.

"Can you walk me to my car?" she asked. "I'm parked far away and I don't want to be accosted on my way there."

"Sure," Reid said and got his coat. They walked to the elevator, chatting idly and drawing some looks. The cool night air made her hair blow around. The streetlights cast a glow on them. She lit up a cigarette.

"Six minutes," Reid said.

"Excuse me?" Cutler asked, raising her eyebrow.

"It's something I used to tell my mom to get her to stop smoking," he explained. "I would tell her that the cigarette she just lit just took away six minutes I got to spend with her." Cutler stared at her still virgin cigarette and threw it down.

"You have the saddest eyes," she said. "Like you're lost." She reached out and squeezed his hand. Concern had creased her face. "Take care of yourself Spencer." Reid thought of poetry, paintings, and old world things of beauty. Even painted up, he could see something in her.

"You too."

Emily poked him out of his daydream. "Look at this." She thrust a piece of newspaper at him. It was an article. There were two photos. One of a group of…current teenagers. One of them was Xavier Moore. He had his arm around Leslie Rose. Jeremy Hart stood next to them.

The photo below had an eighties vibe. Seven teens in each photo. The eerie thing was that except for the faces and clothes, it could have been the same group. The poses, and everything.

"It's like history is repeating itself." Reid whispered.


End file.
